Friday, September 5, 2008


i am finally going back to school. four years i have waited, wondering, "will i ever make it back?"  four years of being told i'll never go back if i don't go now.  four years of being pushed in so many directions. four years of wanting to go my own directions. how was i supposed to sort it all out? i want to do this, i want to do that, but what about that one or this one? if i could just pick one thing i would like to devote my life to, i think i would not have waited this long. too many people need help. too many things are wrong in our government, in our churches. to many pleasures to indulge. should i succumb to my impulsive desires? or should i forget about me and work towards a better world? a better community. a better life for all of us. and how am i to go about doing that?   'just pick a random charity or cause and give your life to it!'   umm... no.   not all charities help the needy. not all causes are good. so what then? where do i start? 

what would i be willing to devote my entire life to? what would i gladly give my life for? what would fulfill me in the purest sense of the word? what would make life worth living?

only one thing i can think of.... God. 

so where do i start? do i relocate and cut myself off from all humanity? or do i take decade long treks to remote places in search of someone who has already removed himself from society and ask his advice? or do i get up in front of people who are only there from obligation and tell them what they want to hear? or maybe i am supposed to fight in a war against people that don't believe the same things i do? should i stand on a street corner and humiliate everyone around me with shouts of, 'sinner! infidel! idolator!'? 

wait... what does God Himself say that i am to do?

He said, "That you love the Lord your God with all your passion and prayer and muscle and intelligence—and that you love your neighbor as well as you do yourself."   Luke 10:27 Message

wow! that doesn't sound like anything i'm hearing from anybody else. in fact it is exactly opposite of what everyone is saying! love God and love your neighbor? why do we not hear this more? it seems so simple. love. 

of course english does not have enough words to translate all the different kinds of love properly, but this is what webster says is the translation for this kind of love: unselfish, loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another: as (1) : the fatherly concern of God for humankind (2): brotherly concern for others. 

don't see too much of that around, do ya?